Changing old patterns
When my last toxic relationship ended, I didn’t go home. I stayed at a friend’s house because I simply couldn’t face being alone. That night, I lay in bed sobbing. Not crying in the way people often imagine after a breakup, but the kind of grief that feels like it’s tearing through your body. I …
Continue reading “Why Leaving a Toxic Relationship Can Feel Like It Will Break You”
It can be one of the hardest things to understand. You watch someone choose a partner over their children. You see a friend stay with someone who lies, cheats or betrays them, while pushing away the very people trying to help. From the outside, the choices can seem impossible to comprehend. People often ask, “Why …
Continue reading “What If They’re Not Choosing the Person, but the Pattern?”
“I promised myself I’d never date someone like my ex again.” It’s something I hear from clients all the time. Yet months later, they’re sitting in my therapy room describing someone new… and the story sounds painfully familiar. Maybe the new partner isn’t exactly the same person, but the emotional experience is. They’re emotionally unavailable. …
Continue reading “Why Do I Keep Ending Up in the Same Relationship?”
Looking back now, I can see that for many years, I wasn’t really living as an emotionally grounded adult. I looked like an adult. I worked, parented, functioned, and carried responsibilities. But emotionally? A large part of me was still stuck in child mode — reactive, approval-seeking, emotionally dependent, and desperate to feel safe, loved, …
Continue reading “When the Child in Me Chose My Relationships and Friendships”
If you have ever wondered why some days you can cope with stress quite well, while on other days even a small comment, disagreement, or unexpected change feels overwhelming, your nervous system may hold the answer. The nervous system and the “window of tolerance” are deeply connected. Understanding this can help us make more sense …
Continue reading “Understanding the Nervous System and the Window of Tolerance”
Why Do We Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns? Have you ever found yourself drawn to the same kind of partner… even when it doesn’t feel good? Or noticed how some people feel too close, while others feel emotionally unavailable? These patterns don’t come out of nowhere. They are often rooted in two key parts …
Continue reading “Individuation, Attachment, and the Patterns We Carry Into Relationships”
Understanding childhood trauma, behaviour, and why connection works better than punishment For many years, smacking children was widely accepted as normal discipline. Many adults still say the same phrase: “I was smacked and it never did me any harm.” I used to say that too. But when I began doing my own healing work later …
Continue reading “Smacking Children: Why Fear Doesn’t Teach What Love Can”
Every time a photo of Daniella Westbrook circulates in the media, the response is depressingly predictable. Comment sections quickly fill with ridicule, mockery, and cheap jokes about her appearance. What’s often missing from these conversations is something basic, yet vital: perspective. Addiction is not a punchline. It is not a personality flaw. And it is …
Continue reading “When Addiction Becomes Entertainment: Why Public Shaming Misses the Point”
How Fear, Obligation and Guilt Quietly Control Your Choices Have you ever said yes to something while every part of you wanted to say no? Or stayed in a situation that didn’t feel right, not because you wanted to — but because leaving felt too uncomfortable, too selfish, or too risky? If so, there’s a …
For a long time, I was deeply codependent in friendships — even before I had the language for it. On the surface, I looked like a great friend. I was generous, thoughtful, reliable. I was the one who made the effort, remembered things, showed up, and took care of people. Underneath, though, I didn’t believe …
Continue reading “When You Over-Do Friendships: Codependency, Boundaries, and Resentment”