Trauma doesn’t just live in our minds — it lingers in our bodies, our emotions, and our everyday reactions. But because it’s often invisible, it can be hard to explain — to ourselves and to others.
Two powerful metaphors can help us make sense of it:
🌳 the “holey jumper”, and 🌹 the “thorn”.
They both tell the same story in different ways: that trauma leaves a mark. And that healing doesn’t mean pretending it never happened — it means learning how to face it with compassion.
🧥 The Hole in the Jumper: When Trauma Leaves a Tear in Our Sense of Self
UK trauma author and trainer Carolyn Spring describes trauma like a hole in a wooden jumper.
The jumper is your life — familiar, warm, and once whole. But trauma has torn a hole in it. No matter how much of the jumper is still intact, your attention keeps going back to the damaged part.
You might:
Try to hide the hole so no one sees it
Feel ashamed of it
Work harder to prove the rest of the jumper is “perfect”
Or deny it’s there at all
But the hole doesn’t disappear just because you ignore it. In fact, hiding it can make life more exhausting. Healing means learning how to acknowledge the damage without shame, and slowly, gently repair the fabric.
Just like darning a tear in wool, healing trauma takes time, patience, and tenderness.
🌹 The Thorn in the Arm: When Old Pain Keeps Getting Triggered
In his book The Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer uses the metaphor of a thorn stuck in your arm.
Rather than pulling it out (which would hurt), you try to protect it:
You avoid anything that might touch it
You rearrange your life around it
You feel anxious and reactive whenever something brushes too close
This is what unresolved emotional wounds can feel like. Even years later, certain words, situations, or relationships can “touch the thorn” and cause a disproportionate reaction.
And we think: Why am I overreacting? What’s wrong with me?
But it’s not overreacting — it’s an understood response to an unhealed wound.
Singer says true healing means being willing to turn inward, feel the pain, and gently release it. It’s not about never being triggered again — it’s about freeing yourself from the power the wound holds.
🧶🌹 Trauma Looks Different for Everyone — But the Impact Is Real
Both the holey jumper and the thorn remind us:
Trauma doesn’t go away just because we try to ignore it
We often build our lives around avoiding the pain
True healing involves acknowledging, facing, and tending to the wound — not covering it up
These metaphors offer language for what many people feel but struggle to explain — the shame, the overwhelm, the confusing reactions. And they show us that healing is possible, even if it’s slow and tender.
💬 How This Helps in Therapy
In therapy, we gently work with these “holes” and “thorns.”
Not to dig around in them unnecessarily — but to understand them, soothe them, and gradually repair what’s been hurt.
You don’t have to keep building your life around old pain.
You can learn to respond, rather than react.
You can feel whole again — not by erasing your past, but by reclaiming your story.
💡 If This Resonated With You
You might find it helpful to explore these metaphors in therapy.
If you’re supporting someone with trauma, understanding how they’re shaped by their “thorn” or “hole” can help you approach them with more compassion.
Or if you’re navigating your own healing journey, remember: it’s okay to be a work in progress.
📍 Therapy for Trauma, Addiction, and Recovery in Romford and Harold Wood
I work with individuals in the Havering area, including Romford, Harold Wood, and online, offering trauma-informed therapy for:
Trauma and PTSD
Addiction and recovery
Codependency and relationship struggles
My approach is gentle, collaborative, and grounded in understanding how trauma shapes our behaviours — and how we can begin to shift them.
Book a free 15-minute consultation
You’re Not Broken. You’re Healing.
Whether it’s a hole in your jumper or a thorn in your arm, your pain makes sense.
And with the right support, healing is not only possible — it’s your birthright.
Andrea, x