Changing old patterns
The intense love you feel with a narcissist or when you are in a trauma bond, isn’t actually love. It’s infatuation. It’s addiction. And it is because you are revisiting/reenacting something you went through in childhood from your primary care giver/s. Subconsciously, we keep revisiting what we know, what is familiar. No matter how painful …
How do you cope with whatever life throws at you? Coping is the ability to deal with difficult situations. Coping skills are the skills that we use to achieve this. It is, therefore, possible to describe a wide range of skills and activities as ‘coping skills’. It is also clear that some coping skills may …
Trauma and anxiety are closely linked. After experiencing a traumatic event, it’s natural to go through a range of negative emotions, including anger, fear, guilt, sadness, and confusion. Anxiety is also a common symptom of trauma, due to its role in our stress responses, also known as fight, flight, freeze, flop or fawn. Anxiety isn’t …
Abandonment trauma can stem from being left alone or neglected as a child either physically or emotionally. It can relate to the death of a parent, having your parents divorce, the loss of a partner or close friend, or finding out a partner has been unfaithful. Whether you experienced painful abandonment during your childhood or …
An emotionally unavailable person is typically seen as someone who has a fear or block to sharing their emotions, and feelings. They delay making plans, don’t really want a label to the relationship, can’t commit, are inconsistent, they lead you on, or worse. They can be emotionally abusing you (gaslighting, stonewalling, lying). They likely …
Continue reading “Do You Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners?”
Although we can’t see them, each of us has an inner child who follows us everywhere that we go. Every one of us has an inner child. They can drive our decisions, create irrational fears and even sabotage our dreams. They could also be the reason why we resent our boss, keep dating the wrong …
Continue reading “Have You Got A Broken Heart, Or Do You Have A Wounded Inner Child?”
As children, we are dependent on our caregivers. For food, love, safety, warmth and more. We learn to adapt our innate behaviour, in order to ensure our survival. One of the first ways that we adapt during times when we are hurting or lonely is to form an imagination that we are safe, and loved. …
I was talking to an old friend recently, who has been a writer, publisher and editor for over 30 years, and written speeches for some very high profile people, including a few of our ex-Prime Ministers. As well as having his own books published. We were discussing how far he had come since our childhood, …
Growing up, I could always make friends easily. I was funny, popular, a fabulous raconteur, and the life and soul of every party. At school, I had girl friends arguing over who was going to sit next to me in class. I was one of the ‘cool’ kids who all the boys wanted to date. …
Continue reading “How Your Attachment Style (and trauma) Shows Up In Friendships”
Toxic shame is literally the opposite to Self-Worth. Toxic shame is a feeling deep down that we are worthless. It usually begins in childhood, when we are criticised by parents/caregivers, teachers or other adults (who we believe know better than we, as children, do). Normal shame is healthy. We begin to develop shame between …