Changing old patterns
Many of us walk into adulthood believing we’ve left childhood behind. We build careers, form relationships, make decisions, and navigate life with the assumption that we are operating from a fully grown, fully rational self. But beneath the surface, a younger part of us often remains active — the part that once felt scared, unseen, …
Continue reading “How Your Inner Child Shapes Your Relationships — And How to Begin Healing”
There is a version of me that people see now — calm, grounded, put together. A therapist. Someone with boundaries, direction, and a strong sense of self. And that version of me is real. But it isn’t where I started. I’m aware that when you’re struggling — with addiction, codependency, the aftermath of abuse, or …
When we think of people like Bruce Springsteen or Elton John, we see talent, success, stadiums full of fans — lives that look almost untouchable. But films like Deliver Me From Nowhere and Rocketman show something deeper: no amount of fame, achievement or financial security gives any of us immunity from the impact of childhood …
“A parentified child will often learn empathy before they learn self-compassion.They become an expert at understanding everyone else’s pain, but struggle to even acknowledge their own.”— Nadia Addesi When a child is placed in the position of caring for a parent emotionally, they don’t just grow up faster — they grow around the needs of …
Continue reading “When a Child Becomes the Caregiver: Healing the Parentified Child”
When love was shown but never said Many of us grew up knowing our parents loved us in practical ways — they provided food, shelter, and perhaps stability — yet they never said “I love you.” That silence can leave a quiet ache. As a trauma therapist working with people in addiction, recovery and codependency, …
When anxiety shows up, it can feel overwhelming. Many of us say things like “I am anxious” or “I’m just an anxious person.” But what if changing just a few words could help you feel calmer, more compassionate towards yourself, and less defined by anxiety? This idea comes from Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, a …
Continue reading “Why Saying “A Part of Me Feels Anxious” Can Be More Helpful Than “I Am Anxious””
When I support clients in therapy, one of the most powerful approaches I use is inner child work. Many people who come to me with struggles around trauma, addiction, or codependency often feel stuck in old patterns that no longer serve them. To help untangle these patterns, I draw on Transactional Analysis (TA), a therapeutic …
When I first began my own recovery from childhood trauma, one truth hit me harder than anything else — if I wanted to heal, I had to develop self-awareness. But becoming aware is not the soft, floaty thing Instagram quotes make it out to be. Awareness meant looking at some very uncomfortable truths about myself: …
Have you ever felt, deep down, that something is wrong with you—even if you can’t quite explain why? Maybe you blame yourself for things that weren’t your fault. Maybe you struggle to accept love or believe you deserve good things. Maybe no matter how hard you try, that nagging sense of “I’m bad” won’t go …
Many of us grew up hearing well-meaning phrases like “You can be anything you want,” or “You don’t need anyone to complete you.” But if we’re honest, those words didn’t always match the actions we witnessed. Maybe our parents said all the right things—but couldn’t live them. And whether we realised it or not, we …