Changing old patterns
A common question I get asked is: “Do you offer couples therapy?” The answer is no. Not because I don’t believe couples therapy can be helpful—it absolutely can. When both people are committed to taking responsibility, communicating openly, and working towards change, it can transform a relationship. But over the years, I’ve noticed something. Many …
Continue reading “Before You Book Couples Therapy… Take a Look at Yourself First”
Have you ever found yourself constantly stepping in to solve someone else’s problems? Perhaps you lend money they never repay, make excuses for their behaviour, or put your own needs on hold to keep them afloat. If so, you’re not alone. Many people who struggle with codependency genuinely believe they’re being caring and supportive. But …
Continue reading “Helping, Rescuing, or Enabling? Understanding the Difference”
Looking back now, I can see that for many years, I wasn’t really living as an emotionally grounded adult. I looked like an adult. I worked, parented, functioned, and carried responsibilities. But emotionally? A large part of me was still stuck in child mode — reactive, approval-seeking, emotionally dependent, and desperate to feel safe, loved, …
Continue reading “When the Child in Me Chose My Relationships and Friendships”
Understanding the Need to Be Seen, Chosen, Approved Of, or Reassured There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel appreciated, loved, or recognised. Human beings are wired for connection. We all need reassurance at times. But for some people, external validation becomes more than just a normal emotional need. It becomes the thing that determines their …
Many of us walk into adulthood believing we’ve left childhood behind. We build careers, form relationships, make decisions, and navigate life with the assumption that we are operating from a fully grown, fully rational self. But beneath the surface, a younger part of us often remains active — the part that once felt scared, unseen, …
Continue reading “How Your Inner Child Shapes Your Relationships — And How to Begin Healing”
Why Do We Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns? Have you ever found yourself drawn to the same kind of partner… even when it doesn’t feel good? Or noticed how some people feel too close, while others feel emotionally unavailable? These patterns don’t come out of nowhere. They are often rooted in two key parts …
Continue reading “Individuation, Attachment, and the Patterns We Carry Into Relationships”
Understanding childhood trauma, behaviour, and why connection works better than punishment For many years, smacking children was widely accepted as normal discipline. Many adults still say the same phrase: “I was smacked and it never did me any harm.” I used to say that too. But when I began doing my own healing work later …
Continue reading “Smacking Children: Why Fear Doesn’t Teach What Love Can”
Every time a photo of Daniella Westbrook circulates in the media, the response is depressingly predictable. Comment sections quickly fill with ridicule, mockery, and cheap jokes about her appearance. What’s often missing from these conversations is something basic, yet vital: perspective. Addiction is not a punchline. It is not a personality flaw. And it is …
Continue reading “When Addiction Becomes Entertainment: Why Public Shaming Misses the Point”
There is a version of me that people see now — calm, grounded, put together. A therapist. Someone with boundaries, direction, and a strong sense of self. And that version of me is real. But it isn’t where I started. I’m aware that when you’re struggling — with addiction, codependency, the aftermath of abuse, or …
How Fear, Obligation and Guilt Quietly Control Your Choices Have you ever said yes to something while every part of you wanted to say no? Or stayed in a situation that didn’t feel right, not because you wanted to — but because leaving felt too uncomfortable, too selfish, or too risky? If so, there’s a …