Changing old patterns
Understanding childhood trauma, behaviour, and why connection works better than punishment For many years, smacking children was widely accepted as normal discipline. Many adults still say the same phrase: “I was smacked and it never did me any harm.” I used to say that too. But when I began doing my own healing work later …
Continue reading “Smacking Children: Why Fear Doesn’t Teach What Love Can”
When love was shown but never said Many of us grew up knowing our parents loved us in practical ways — they provided food, shelter, and perhaps stability — yet they never said “I love you.” That silence can leave a quiet ache. As a trauma therapist working with people in addiction, recovery and codependency, …
Codependency is a word that gets used a lot, but it can be hard to fully understand. At its core, codependency is about losing yourself in relationships – whether that’s with a partner, family member, or friend. People who struggle with codependency often put others’ needs before their own, feel responsible for other people’s emotions, …
Continue reading “The 4 Types of Codependency: Which One Do You Recognise?”
When people hear the word self-worth, they often think of it as a “nice-to-have” — something that makes you feel a little more confident. But the truth is, healthy self-worth is life-changing. It shapes the way you see yourself, how you relate to others, and the choices you feel able to make in life. For …
Continue reading “Why Self-Worth is Life-Changing (and How It Can Transform Your Life)”
Have you ever felt, deep down, that something is wrong with you—even if you can’t quite explain why? Maybe you blame yourself for things that weren’t your fault. Maybe you struggle to accept love or believe you deserve good things. Maybe no matter how hard you try, that nagging sense of “I’m bad” won’t go …
Many of us grew up hearing well-meaning phrases like “You can be anything you want,” or “You don’t need anyone to complete you.” But if we’re honest, those words didn’t always match the actions we witnessed. Maybe our parents said all the right things—but couldn’t live them. And whether we realised it or not, we …
In today’s world of personal development, we often hear the terms self-esteem and self-worth used interchangeably. While they are closely related and both vital to our mental and emotional well-being, they are not the same. Understanding the difference between them can be the key to deeper self-awareness, emotional resilience, and genuine confidence. What Is Self-Esteem? …
Continue reading “Understanding The Difference Between Self-Esteem and Self-Worth”
According to most psychological estimates, around 90-95% of our mental activity is considered subconscious, meaning only a small percentage (5-10%) is consciously accessible. Most of our daily decisions, habits, feelings, emotions and behaviours are driven by our subconscious mind. The subconscious stores a vast amount of information, including memories, beliefs, and learned patterns. Which is …
Continue reading “How Is Your Attachment Style Affecting Your Relationship?”
If you grew up in a home with a parent who misused alcohol, drugs, or who suffered from codependency themselves, you’re probably familiar with the feeling of never knowing what to expect from one day to the next. When one or both parents struggle with addiction, the home environment is unpredictable. Arguments, inconsistency, unreliability, …
Continue reading “Adult Children Of Addicts or Codependents – The Laundry List”
You may have a mother wound if you were invalidated or made to feel that your weren’t important. If your feelings were ‘wrong’ or you were blamed for things you didn’t do. By your mother. If you weren’t allowed to ever express or explore negative emotions, this may result in chronic low self-esteem. Do you …