Changing old patterns
When my last toxic relationship ended, I didn’t go home. I stayed at a friend’s house because I simply couldn’t face being alone. That night, I lay in bed sobbing. Not crying in the way people often imagine after a breakup, but the kind of grief that feels like it’s tearing through your body. I …
Continue reading “Why Leaving a Toxic Relationship Can Feel Like It Will Break You”
It can be one of the hardest things to understand. You watch someone choose a partner over their children. You see a friend stay with someone who lies, cheats or betrays them, while pushing away the very people trying to help. From the outside, the choices can seem impossible to comprehend. People often ask, “Why …
Continue reading “What If They’re Not Choosing the Person, but the Pattern?”
There’s a quiet shift that happens in therapy — and in relationships — when judgement begins to soften and curiosity takes its place. So many people carry an inner dialogue that sounds harsh and unforgiving: “Why am I like this?”“I should be coping better.”“What’s wrong with me?” But judgement tends to close doors.Curiosity opens them. …
Looking back now, I can see that for many years, I wasn’t really living as an emotionally grounded adult. I looked like an adult. I worked, parented, functioned, and carried responsibilities. But emotionally? A large part of me was still stuck in child mode — reactive, approval-seeking, emotionally dependent, and desperate to feel safe, loved, …
Continue reading “When the Child in Me Chose My Relationships and Friendships”
Every time a photo of Daniella Westbrook circulates in the media, the response is depressingly predictable. Comment sections quickly fill with ridicule, mockery, and cheap jokes about her appearance. What’s often missing from these conversations is something basic, yet vital: perspective. Addiction is not a punchline. It is not a personality flaw. And it is …
Continue reading “When Addiction Becomes Entertainment: Why Public Shaming Misses the Point”
For a long time, I was deeply codependent in friendships — even before I had the language for it. On the surface, I looked like a great friend. I was generous, thoughtful, reliable. I was the one who made the effort, remembered things, showed up, and took care of people. Underneath, though, I didn’t believe …
Continue reading “When You Over-Do Friendships: Codependency, Boundaries, and Resentment”
Many people assume trauma only comes from big, dramatic events. Yet, often the most lasting emotional wounds come from subtle, everyday experiences that shape how we see ourselves and the world. As a trauma psychotherapist, I’ve seen countless clients who describe their childhoods as “idyllic,” only to discover that beneath the surface, small experiences left …
Continue reading “When Trauma Isn’t Obvious: How “Little” Childhood Events Shape Our Self-Worth”
Recovery from trauma isn’t a straight line, and it doesn’t mean life becomes symptom-free. Many people imagine healing looks like morning yoga, green juices, and simply “letting it go.” But in reality, trauma recovery often looks very different. For many, flashbacks, anxiety, sleepless nights, or emotional numbness don’t vanish completely. The difference is learning how …
Continue reading “Recovery From Trauma: Real, Human, and Far From Perfect”
Many of us grew up hearing well-meaning phrases like “You can be anything you want,” or “You don’t need anyone to complete you.” But if we’re honest, those words didn’t always match the actions we witnessed. Maybe our parents said all the right things—but couldn’t live them. And whether we realised it or not, we …
Have you ever caught yourself thinking,“Why do I still feel like a child, even though I’m an adult?” You might be managing a home, raising kids, or holding down a responsible job, yet deep down there’s a sense of being small, lost, or not quite grown up. This experience is incredibly common, especially for people …
Continue reading “Why Do I Still Feel Like a Child? Understanding Emotional Stuckness in Adulthood”