Watching someone you care about struggle with addiction is incredibly painful. Whether it’s alcohol, drugs, gambling, or another compulsive behaviour, addiction affects not only the person experiencing it but everyone around them. If you’re wondering how to help without enabling or losing yourself in the process, you’re not alone.
As a trauma therapist in Romford, Harold Wood, and the wider Havering area, I work closely with individuals and families navigating the challenges of addiction and recovery. Here are five essential do’s and don’ts to guide you when supporting a loved one through addiction.
1. ✅ Do: Educate Yourself About Addiction
Addiction is not a choice or a moral failing—it’s a complex condition rooted in trauma, biology, and environment. Learning about the nature of addiction helps you offer informed, compassionate support.
Don’t: Blame or shame your loved one.
Saying things like “Why can’t you just stop?” or “You’re ruining everything” might come from fear, but it often deepens the person’s shame and isolation—key drivers of addictive behaviour.
2. ✅ Do: Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are vital. They protect your wellbeing and make it clear what is and isn’t acceptable. For example, you might say, “I will support your recovery, but I won’t lie for you or cover up consequences.”
Don’t: Enable destructive behaviour.
Bailing someone out financially, making excuses for them, or sacrificing your own needs to ‘keep the peace’ can delay their motivation to seek help.
3. ✅ Do: Listen Without Judgement
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply be present. Let them talk. Hear their pain, confusion, or ambivalence about change.
Don’t: Try to fix or control their recovery.
It’s natural to want to take charge, but real recovery has to come from within. Your role is to support, not steer.
4. ✅ Do: Take Care of Yourself
Your own emotional health matters. Supporting someone through addiction can be exhausting and deeply emotional. Prioritising your wellbeing isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
Don’t: Neglect your needs.
If you’re constantly stressed, anxious, or depressed, you’re not in a good place to help anyone else. Consider seeking therapy or joining a support group like Al-Anon.
If you’re struggling to cope, I offer one-to-one therapy in Romford and online to help you process what you’re going through and reconnect with yourself. Find out more about individual therapy here →
5. ✅ Do: Encourage Professional Help
Whether it’s detox, rehab, therapy, or support groups, professional help can be a turning point in recovery. You can gently offer resources or go with them to appointments.
Don’t: Force them into treatment.
Recovery is a deeply personal journey. Pushing too hard can create resistance or conflict. Share information, express concern, but let them decide when they’re ready.
Final Thoughts
Loving someone with an addiction is heartbreaking—and incredibly brave. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to not have all the answers. What matters most is staying grounded in compassion, for your loved one and for yourself.
If you’re in Havering, Romford, or Harold Wood and need support as you walk this path, you’re not alone. I offer specialist therapy for family members affected by addiction, with a focus on trauma, boundaries, and emotional resilience.
👉 Book a free 15-minute consultation today
Andrea x