Changing old patterns
When I support clients in therapy, one of the most powerful approaches I use is inner child work. Many people who come to me with struggles around trauma, addiction, or codependency often feel stuck in old patterns that no longer serve them. To help untangle these patterns, I draw on Transactional Analysis (TA), a therapeutic …
When navigating the complexities of relationships—especially those touched by trauma, addiction, or emotional neglect—it can be hard to tell the difference between limerence and codependency. Both can feel intense, all-consuming, and deeply emotional, but they stem from very different roots. In this blog, we’ll explore the difference between limerence and codependency, how they show up …
Have you ever felt, deep down, that something is wrong with you—even if you can’t quite explain why? Maybe you blame yourself for things that weren’t your fault. Maybe you struggle to accept love or believe you deserve good things. Maybe no matter how hard you try, that nagging sense of “I’m bad” won’t go …
Why relationships matter in healing from addiction When we think about addiction, it’s often framed as an individual struggle — a battle of willpower or a personal failing. But the reality is far more complex. Addiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It’s deeply shaped by our nervous systems, our past experiences, and most importantly, our …
Continue reading “The Powerful Connection Between Addiction and Co-Regulation”
Shame is one of the most powerful—and often hidden—emotions that people face in addiction and recovery. It can keep us stuck in cycles of self-destructive behaviour, disconnected from ourselves and others. But understanding shame, and learning how to work through it, can be a crucial turning point in recovery. In this blog, I’ll explore what …
Continue reading “The Role of Shame in Addiction Recovery: How Understanding It Can Help You Heal”
Many of us grew up hearing well-meaning phrases like “You can be anything you want,” or “You don’t need anyone to complete you.” But if we’re honest, those words didn’t always match the actions we witnessed. Maybe our parents said all the right things—but couldn’t live them. And whether we realised it or not, we …
When someone you love is struggling with addiction, trauma, or mental health issues, it’s natural to want to step in and fix it. You might try to offer solutions, give advice, or take control of the situation because you care so deeply. But here’s the difficult truth:You can’t do someone else’s recovery for them. Trying …
Continue reading “Why You Can’t ‘Fix’ Someone Else’s Recovery—And What You Can Do Instead”
For a long time, I believed I wasn’t an anxious person. In fact, during my marriage, my husband often told me how jealous he was of my calm nature.“I wish I could be like you—you never worry about anything,” he used to say. And for years, I believed him. I thought anxiety meant lying awake …
Continue reading “The Hidden Link Between Codependency, People-Pleasing, and Anxiety”
Understanding the Silent Wounds and How Therapy Can Help Many people come to therapy carrying pain they can’t quite name. They might say things like: “I had a good childhood—no one hit me or abused me—but I still feel… empty.” “I don’t know how to ask for help.” “I feel numb most of the …
Continue reading “Healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect as an Adult”
Are you always putting your partner’s needs before your own? Do you feel responsible for someone else’s emotions or choices? If so, you may be experiencing codependency—an unhealthy relational pattern that can leave you feeling drained, anxious, or stuck. As a trauma-informed therapist based in Romford and Harold Wood, I support individuals who are struggling …
Continue reading “7 Common Signs of Codependency in Relationships (And What to Do About It)”