Changing old patterns
Understanding the Need to Be Seen, Chosen, Approved Of, or Reassured There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel appreciated, loved, or recognised. Human beings are wired for connection. We all need reassurance at times. But for some people, external validation becomes more than just a normal emotional need. It becomes the thing that determines their …
When Your Nervous System Can’t Switch Off Your body is designed to protect you. Long before logic kicks in, your nervous system scans for danger and prepares you to survive it. This survival response — often called fight, flight, or freeze — is fast, automatic, and incredibly effective in genuine emergencies. But when stress or …
Continue reading “Nervous System Stuck in Fight or Flight? Signs, Causes and How to Reset It”
Many people I work with struggle to ask for what they need. They worry about being too much, causing conflict, or being rejected. For people with trauma histories, addiction, or codependent patterns, this fear often comes from past experiences where needs were ignored, punished, or used against them. DEAR MAN is a practical communication tool …
Continue reading “DEAR MAN: A Trauma-Informed Guide to Asking for What You Need”
My introduction to trauma came through a book that made a bold claim: If trauma didn’t exist, we wouldn’t need prisons, social services, or many of the systems we rely on to manage human suffering. I remember reading that and immediately disbelieving it. It felt like a massive overstatement — almost offensive in its simplicity. …
Continue reading “Trauma: The Invisible Thread Shaping Our Lives”
When life feels chaotic, overwhelming, or emotionally intense, we often hear the advice to “stay grounded.” But what does that really mean—and why is it so important, especially for people healing from trauma, addiction, or codependent relationships? In this blog, we’ll explore the meaning of being grounded, why it matters for emotional wellbeing, and how …
Have you ever caught yourself thinking,“Why do I still feel like a child, even though I’m an adult?” You might be managing a home, raising kids, or holding down a responsible job, yet deep down there’s a sense of being small, lost, or not quite grown up. This experience is incredibly common, especially for people …
Continue reading “Why Do I Still Feel Like a Child? Understanding Emotional Stuckness in Adulthood”
Trauma affects far more people than we often realise—and its impact can shape every part of a person’s life, from relationships to emotional wellbeing, physical health, and the ability to feel safe in the world. Trauma-informed therapy is a compassionate, evidence-based approach designed to help individuals heal from past experiences in a way that feels …
Trauma and anxiety are closely linked. After experiencing a traumatic event, it’s natural to go through a range of negative emotions, including anger, fear, guilt, sadness, and confusion. Anxiety is also a common symptom of trauma, due to its role in our stress responses, also known as fight, flight, freeze, flop or fawn. Anxiety isn’t …
The vagus nerve is the longest nerve in our body, running from the brain stem to part of the colon, supplying both our organs and our brain with vital information. The word “vagus” means wandering in Latin, and the vagus nerve is a wandering cranial nerve that communicates to every organ in our body, especially …
I remember a few years ago, a friend persuaded me to attend a meditation class with her. I couldn’t concentrate or focus, it was boring, and I was just desperate to get down the pub after. This is just one example of how I typically lived for most of my life. If I did ever …