Changing old patterns
Every time a photo of Daniella Westbrook circulates in the media, the response is depressingly predictable. Comment sections quickly fill with ridicule, mockery, and cheap jokes about her appearance. What’s often missing from these conversations is something basic, yet vital: perspective. Addiction is not a punchline. It is not a personality flaw. And it is …
Continue reading “When Addiction Becomes Entertainment: Why Public Shaming Misses the Point”
Supporting a partner who is caught in addiction can be heartbreaking, frightening, and deeply exhausting.When you’ve heard “I’ll change” again and again—yet nothing shifts—it’s completely understandable that you might reach for punishment, ultimatums, or control. Not because you’re trying to be harsh, but because you’re hurting and desperate for things to get better. Many partners …
Continue reading “Why You Can’t Control His Addiction — And How to Support Real Change”
When you’re supporting a loved one through addiction, trauma, or difficult life experiences, you may hear them say they “feel bad” or “feel ashamed,” but not know exactly what that means. Guilt and shame are often confused for one another — yet they impact us in very different ways. Understanding the difference can help you …
Continue reading “Guilt vs Shame: Understanding the Difference and Why It Matters for Healing”
Many people assume trauma only comes from big, dramatic events. Yet, often the most lasting emotional wounds come from subtle, everyday experiences that shape how we see ourselves and the world. As a trauma psychotherapist, I’ve seen countless clients who describe their childhoods as “idyllic,” only to discover that beneath the surface, small experiences left …
Continue reading “When Trauma Isn’t Obvious: How “Little” Childhood Events Shape Our Self-Worth”
When I support clients in therapy, one of the most powerful approaches I use is inner child work. Many people who come to me with struggles around trauma, addiction, or codependency often feel stuck in old patterns that no longer serve them. To help untangle these patterns, I draw on Transactional Analysis (TA), a therapeutic …
When I first began my own recovery from childhood trauma, one truth hit me harder than anything else — if I wanted to heal, I had to develop self-awareness. But becoming aware is not the soft, floaty thing Instagram quotes make it out to be. Awareness meant looking at some very uncomfortable truths about myself: …
Have you ever felt, deep down, that something is wrong with you—even if you can’t quite explain why? Maybe you blame yourself for things that weren’t your fault. Maybe you struggle to accept love or believe you deserve good things. Maybe no matter how hard you try, that nagging sense of “I’m bad” won’t go …
Shame is a powerful, painful emotion. It’s not the same as guilt. Guilt says, “I did something wrong.” Shame says, “I am something wrong.” For many people affected by trauma, addiction, or codependency, shame becomes a deep-rooted belief that silently drives harmful patterns—what we call the shame cycle. In this blog, we’ll explore what the …
Continue reading “Breaking the Shame Cycle: How to Recognise It and Begin to Heal”
Shame is one of the most powerful—and often hidden—emotions that people face in addiction and recovery. It can keep us stuck in cycles of self-destructive behaviour, disconnected from ourselves and others. But understanding shame, and learning how to work through it, can be a crucial turning point in recovery. In this blog, I’ll explore what …
Continue reading “The Role of Shame in Addiction Recovery: How Understanding It Can Help You Heal”
Addiction is a complex, multifaceted issue that impacts millions of individuals and families worldwide. While genetics, environment, trauma, and peer influence all play a role, one often under-discussed yet critical factor is parenting. The way a child is raised—the emotional tone of the household, the boundaries set (or not set), the way love is …
Continue reading “How Bad Parenting Can Contribute to Addiction: A Hard Look at Root Causes”