Changing old patterns
When someone you love is struggling with addiction, trauma, or mental health issues, it’s natural to want to step in and fix it. You might try to offer solutions, give advice, or take control of the situation because you care so deeply. But here’s the difficult truth:You can’t do someone else’s recovery for them. Trying …
Continue reading “Why You Can’t ‘Fix’ Someone Else’s Recovery—And What You Can Do Instead”
For a long time, I believed I wasn’t an anxious person. In fact, during my marriage, my husband often told me how jealous he was of my calm nature.“I wish I could be like you—you never worry about anything,” he used to say. And for years, I believed him. I thought anxiety meant lying awake …
Continue reading “The Hidden Link Between Codependency, People-Pleasing, and Anxiety”
Understanding the Silent Wounds and How Therapy Can Help Many people come to therapy carrying pain they can’t quite name. They might say things like: “I had a good childhood—no one hit me or abused me—but I still feel… empty.” “I don’t know how to ask for help.” “I feel numb most of the …
Continue reading “Healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect as an Adult”
Are you always putting your partner’s needs before your own? Do you feel responsible for someone else’s emotions or choices? If so, you may be experiencing codependency—an unhealthy relational pattern that can leave you feeling drained, anxious, or stuck. As a trauma-informed therapist based in Romford and Harold Wood, I support individuals who are struggling …
Continue reading “7 Common Signs of Codependency in Relationships (And What to Do About It)”
Understanding Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Heal We all long for connection. But for some, relationships can feel like an emotional rollercoaster—full of giving, pleasing, fixing, and, too often, losing ourselves in the process. If you find yourself over-functioning in relationships, neglecting your own needs, or feeling responsible for other people’s emotions, …
Continue reading “The Hidden Link Between Attachment Styles and Codependency”
Relationships are meant to be a source of support, joy, and mutual growth. But what happens when the line between caring and controlling gets blurry? Codependency often masquerades as love or devotion, but it can erode both partners’ sense of self. In contrast, healthy relationships are rooted in respect, autonomy, and balance. Here, I’ll explore …
According to most psychological estimates, around 90-95% of our mental activity is considered subconscious, meaning only a small percentage (5-10%) is consciously accessible. Most of our daily decisions, habits, feelings, emotions and behaviours are driven by our subconscious mind. The subconscious stores a vast amount of information, including memories, beliefs, and learned patterns. Which is …
Continue reading “How Is Your Attachment Style Affecting Your Relationship?”
If you grew up in a home with a parent who misused alcohol, drugs, or who suffered from codependency themselves, you’re probably familiar with the feeling of never knowing what to expect from one day to the next. When one or both parents struggle with addiction, the home environment is unpredictable. Arguments, inconsistency, unreliability, …
Continue reading “Adult Children Of Addicts or Codependents – The Laundry List”
Typically when we think of addiction, we think of alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling. Although not yet an official diagnosis, a more common, yet far less known form of addiction is an addiction to people. Research from 2016 suggested feelings of intense romantic love activate regions of the brain’s “reward system” — the same regions …
You may have a mother wound if you were invalidated or made to feel that your weren’t important. If your feelings were ‘wrong’ or you were blamed for things you didn’t do. By your mother. If you weren’t allowed to ever express or explore negative emotions, this may result in chronic low self-esteem. Do you …