Changing old patterns
When love was shown but never said Many of us grew up knowing our parents loved us in practical ways — they provided food, shelter, and perhaps stability — yet they never said “I love you.” That silence can leave a quiet ache. As a trauma therapist working with people in addiction, recovery and codependency, …
The Rescuer’s Heart Many of us who care deeply have a rescuer inside us. We see pain in others and want to make it better. We spot potential, we believe in people, and we feel a powerful urge to help them become who we know they can be. But sometimes, that beautiful instinct crosses into …
Continue reading “When Love Becomes Rescue: Understanding Rescuer Syndrome in Relationships”
What Does Self-Abandonment Mean? Understanding why we disconnect from ourselves — and how to start coming home again. Have you ever noticed yourself ignoring your own needs to please someone else? Or staying quiet to keep the peace, even when something doesn’t feel right?These are common signs of self-abandonment — and they can leave us …
When people talk about “daddy issues,” it often gets thrown around as a joke. But the truth is, what many call daddy issues is more accurately described as the father wound — a deep emotional imprint left when a father is absent, unavailable, or critical. This wound can shape how we see ourselves, our sense …
Continue reading “Daddy Issues: Understanding the Father Wound”
Many people who struggle with codependent behaviours describe a constant urge to rescue, fix, or manage others. If this sounds familiar, it’s important to know: these patterns are not a personal flaw. They are learned survival strategies developed in response to early emotional experiences. Understanding how childhood trauma shapes codependency is the first step toward …
Codependency is a word that gets used a lot, but it can be hard to fully understand. At its core, codependency is about losing yourself in relationships – whether that’s with a partner, family member, or friend. People who struggle with codependency often put others’ needs before their own, feel responsible for other people’s emotions, …
Continue reading “The 4 Types of Codependency: Which One Do You Recognise?”
Self-awareness is one of the most powerful tools we have for healing, growth, and change. In my work as a trauma and addiction therapist, I always tell my clients that journalling is the second best healing tool after therapy. Writing allows us to slow down, make sense of our thoughts, and process emotions in a …
When people hear the word self-worth, they often think of it as a “nice-to-have” — something that makes you feel a little more confident. But the truth is, healthy self-worth is life-changing. It shapes the way you see yourself, how you relate to others, and the choices you feel able to make in life. For …
Continue reading “Why Self-Worth is Life-Changing (and How It Can Transform Your Life)”
In families affected by trauma, addiction, or unresolved conflict, children often take on certain roles as a way to survive. These roles—sometimes called “the golden child,” “the scapegoat,” “the mascot,” and more—are coping strategies children develop to make sense of a chaotic environment. It’s important to know that these roles aren’t fixed. Many children take …
Continue reading “Family Roles in Dysfunctional Families: How They Shape Us in Adulthood”
When anxiety shows up, it can feel overwhelming. Many of us say things like “I am anxious” or “I’m just an anxious person.” But what if changing just a few words could help you feel calmer, more compassionate towards yourself, and less defined by anxiety? This idea comes from Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, a …
Continue reading “Why Saying “A Part of Me Feels Anxious” Can Be More Helpful Than “I Am Anxious””