Changing old patterns
Addiction and Learned Helplessness: How Are They Connected? If you or someone you care about is struggling with addiction, you may have noticed a pattern of hopelessness or feeling “stuck”—like no matter what they do, nothing seems to change. This emotional state is often described as learned helplessness. But is addiction a form of learned …
What Is the Father Wound? The father wound is a deep emotional injury caused by a strained, neglectful, absent, or abusive relationship with one’s father or father figure. This wound often develops during childhood and adolescence, but its effects can linger well into adulthood—shaping your sense of identity, self-worth, and capacity for connection. Often unrecognised, …
Continue reading “Healing the Father Wound: Understanding the Root of Emotional Pain”
Understanding Why We Lose Ourselves in Relationships—and How to Heal We all long for connection. But for some, relationships can feel like an emotional rollercoaster—full of giving, pleasing, fixing, and, too often, losing ourselves in the process. If you find yourself over-functioning in relationships, neglecting your own needs, or feeling responsible for other people’s emotions, …
Continue reading “The Hidden Link Between Attachment Styles and Codependency”
In today’s world of personal development, we often hear the terms self-esteem and self-worth used interchangeably. While they are closely related and both vital to our mental and emotional well-being, they are not the same. Understanding the difference between them can be the key to deeper self-awareness, emotional resilience, and genuine confidence. What Is Self-Esteem? …
Continue reading “Understanding The Difference Between Self-Esteem and Self-Worth”
Relationships are meant to be a source of support, joy, and mutual growth. But what happens when the line between caring and controlling gets blurry? Codependency often masquerades as love or devotion, but it can erode both partners’ sense of self. In contrast, healthy relationships are rooted in respect, autonomy, and balance. Here, I’ll explore …
If you grew up in a home with a parent who misused alcohol, drugs, or who suffered from codependency themselves, you’re probably familiar with the feeling of never knowing what to expect from one day to the next. When one or both parents struggle with addiction, the home environment is unpredictable. Arguments, inconsistency, unreliability, …
Continue reading “Adult Children Of Addicts or Codependents – The Laundry List”
Typically when we think of addiction, we think of alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling. Although not yet an official diagnosis, a more common, yet far less known form of addiction is an addiction to people. Research from 2016 suggested feelings of intense romantic love activate regions of the brain’s “reward system” — the same regions …
Growing up, I could always make friends easily. I was funny, popular, a fabulous raconteur, and the life and soul of every party. At school, I had girl friends arguing over who was going to sit next to me in class. I was one of the ‘cool’ kids who all the boys wanted to date. …
Continue reading “How Your Attachment Style (and trauma) Shows Up In Friendships”
Toxic shame is literally the opposite to Self-Worth. Toxic shame is a feeling deep down that we are worthless. It usually begins in childhood, when we are criticised by parents/caregivers, teachers or other adults (who we believe know better than we, as children, do). Normal shame is healthy. We begin to develop shame between …
My daughter asked me recently where the term ‘bunny boiler’ comes from. I laughed, as I recalled Glenn Close’s psychotic character in ‘Fatal Attraction‘ and how, after the huge success of the film in the 80s, any female who demonstrated a glimmer of insecure behaviour was labelled a bunny boiler, relating to the scene where …
Continue reading “When Trauma And Pain Show Up As Crazy In Relationships”