Changing old patterns
Many of us walk into adulthood believing we’ve left childhood behind. We build careers, form relationships, make decisions, and navigate life with the assumption that we are operating from a fully grown, fully rational self. But beneath the surface, a younger part of us often remains active — the part that once felt scared, unseen, …
Continue reading “How Your Inner Child Shapes Your Relationships — And How to Begin Healing”
Feeling fine one moment and suddenly overwhelmed the next can be frightening. Many people describe it as the floor dropping out from under them or a sense that the “carpet has been pulled away.” You might be going about your day, coping well, managing work, family, and responsibilities — and then out of nowhere, your …
When love was shown but never said Many of us grew up knowing our parents loved us in practical ways — they provided food, shelter, and perhaps stability — yet they never said “I love you.” That silence can leave a quiet ache. As a trauma therapist working with people in addiction, recovery and codependency, …
If you’ve ever found yourself feeling anxious in a relationship, constantly seeking reassurance, or withdrawing when things get too close, you’re not alone. These patterns often stem from our attachment styles, which are shaped early in life and show up again and again in our adult relationships. The good news? Healing is absolutely possible. With …
Continue reading “Healing Attachment Styles for Healthier Relationships”
Addiction is a complex, multifaceted issue that impacts millions of individuals and families worldwide. While genetics, environment, trauma, and peer influence all play a role, one often under-discussed yet critical factor is parenting. The way a child is raised—the emotional tone of the household, the boundaries set (or not set), the way love is …
Continue reading “How Bad Parenting Can Contribute to Addiction: A Hard Look at Root Causes”
Are certain people more likely to develop addictions in their lifetime, including to alcohol or drugs? Is there a definitive addictive personality or a set of characteristics that all addicts share? Many people believe they have an addictive personality, but at its core, what they often struggle with is an inability to self-regulate. Self-soothing/regulating means …
How do you cope with whatever life throws at you? Coping is the ability to deal with difficult situations. Coping skills are the skills that we use to achieve this. It is, therefore, possible to describe a wide range of skills and activities as ‘coping skills’. It is also clear that some coping skills may …
As soon as we are born, life comes at us. We all need attachment, to survive, and if your parents or caregivers didn’t meet your emotional needs fully, you were abused, abandoned, or neglected, you will feel unworthy and unlovable deep down. You will learn behaviours to cope and to keep yourself as safe as …
I remember a few years ago, a friend persuaded me to attend a meditation class with her. I couldn’t concentrate or focus, it was boring, and I was just desperate to get down the pub after. This is just one example of how I typically lived for most of my life. If I did ever …
WHAT IS THE MOTHER WOUND? The bond between a mother and her child is so strong that British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott believed that there’s no such thing as an infant, but only an infant and their mother. He believed that a child’s sense of self is built by the kind of a relationship that they have with …