Changing old patterns
How Fear, Obligation and Guilt Quietly Control Your Choices Have you ever said yes to something while every part of you wanted to say no? Or stayed in a situation that didn’t feel right, not because you wanted to — but because leaving felt too uncomfortable, too selfish, or too risky? If so, there’s a …
Many people I work with struggle to ask for what they need. They worry about being too much, causing conflict, or being rejected. For people with trauma histories, addiction, or codependent patterns, this fear often comes from past experiences where needs were ignored, punished, or used against them. DEAR MAN is a practical communication tool …
Continue reading “DEAR MAN: A Trauma-Informed Guide to Asking for What You Need”
When you’re supporting a loved one through addiction, trauma, or difficult life experiences, you may hear them say they “feel bad” or “feel ashamed,” but not know exactly what that means. Guilt and shame are often confused for one another — yet they impact us in very different ways. Understanding the difference can help you …
Continue reading “Guilt vs Shame: Understanding the Difference and Why It Matters for Healing”
You may have a mother wound if you were invalidated or made to feel that your weren’t important. If your feelings were ‘wrong’ or you were blamed for things you didn’t do. By your mother. If you weren’t allowed to ever express or explore negative emotions, this may result in chronic low self-esteem. Do you …
The word ‘trauma‘ comes from the Greek word for ‘wound’. So trauma is literally a wound in our mental state. Like any physical wound. Post-Traumatic Stress means anything that leaves an emotional residue in the system and interferes with its normal function. The various facets of Post-Traumatic Stress are innumerable; however, we can categorize them …
I have been a people-pleaser for most of my life. Not trusting my own judgement, so relying on others to tell me what to do. Ignoring red flags in people, trying to see the best in them. Which has got me into many dangerous situations, and stuck in a cycle of toxic friendships and abusive …
Continue reading “The Fawn Trauma Response – Are You A People Pleaser?”
A lot of us are walking around carrying toxic shame, without even knowing it, or realising just how big an impact it is having on how we function day to day. You may withdraw, become angry without understanding why. You may become a perfectionist, in order to avoid more criticism or shame. Either from others …