Changing old patterns
The primary goal of a human infant is to maintain proximity to its caregiver, which was necessary for survival during our evolution. Babies can’t survive alone. They depend on their main caregiver (attachment figure) to literally keep them alive. Founded by psychoanalyst John Bowlby in the 1950s and expanded by Mary Ainsworth, attachment theory outlines …
I was a codependent for most of my life. Desperate to be loved, I jumped from one long-term relationship to another, from a very young age, most of them being abusive. I was desperate for friends, so clingy and needy, I either put up with bullying and toxicity even in adult friendships, or drove any …
After years of never really fitting in, always feeling as though there was something wrong with me, and entering into toxic friendships and abusive relationships, I finally found myself at rock bottom. I had no choice but to seek help, if I was going to get through. At my first therapy session, not even …
Continue reading “Are You Living In Survival Mode? (and what to do about it)”
I have been a people-pleaser for most of my life. Not trusting my own judgement, so relying on others to tell me what to do. Ignoring red flags in people, trying to see the best in them. Which has got me into many dangerous situations, and stuck in a cycle of toxic friendships and abusive …
Continue reading “The Fawn Trauma Response – Are You A People Pleaser?”
If our emotional and physical needs are met as children, we grow up believing that we have a right to be here and that we are capable, lovable and able to take care of ourselves. But often, getting these needs met depends on how well the needs of the family have been met. For example, …
Welcome to The Healing Nest. My name is Andrea Clark. I have gone from codependent and broken after years of toxic relationships and friendships, to now helping others to heal. I was severely codependent; a magnet for attracting narcissistic and toxic personalities into my life. I’ll be talking a lot on this site about ‘Inner …