Typically when we think of addiction, we think of alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling. Although not yet an official diagnosis, a more common, yet far less known form of addiction is an addiction to people. Research from 2016 suggested feelings of intense romantic love activate regions of the brain’s “reward system” — the same regions …
Narcissists And The Mother Wound
You may have a mother wound if you were invalidated or made to feel that your weren’t important. If your feelings were ‘wrong’ or you were blamed for things you didn’t do. By your mother. If you weren’t allowed to ever express or explore negative emotions, this may result in chronic low self-esteem. Do you …
What creates a people-pleaser?
I used to be a people-pleaser. I didn’t trust my own judgement, so relied on others to tell me what to do. Ignoring red flags in people, trying to see the best in them. Which has got me into many dangerous situations, and stuck in a cycle of toxic friendships and abusive relationships. I …
Why A Trauma Bond Feels So Intense
The intense love you feel with a narcissist or when you are in a trauma bond, isn’t actually love. It’s infatuation. It’s addiction. And it is because you are revisiting/reenacting something you went through in childhood from your primary care giver/s. Subconsciously, we keep revisiting what we know, what is familiar. No matter how painful …
Do You Fear Abandonment?
Abandonment trauma can stem from being left alone or neglected as a child either physically or emotionally. It can relate to the death of a parent, having your parents divorce, the loss of a partner or close friend, or finding out a partner has been unfaithful. Whether you experienced painful abandonment during your childhood or …
Have You Got A Broken Heart, Or Do You Have A Wounded Inner Child?
Although we can’t see them, each of us has an inner child who follows us everywhere that we go. Every one of us has an inner child. They can drive our decisions, create irrational fears and even sabotage our dreams. They could also be the reason why we resent our boss, keep dating the wrong …
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How Your Attachment Style (and trauma) Shows Up In Friendships
Growing up, I could always make friends easily. I was funny, popular, a fabulous raconteur, and the life and soul of every party. At school, I had girl friends arguing over who was going to sit next to me in class. I was one of the ‘cool’ kids who all the boys wanted to date. …
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Shame vs Self-Worth (and how to heal)
Toxic shame is literally the opposite to Self-Worth. Toxic shame is a feeling deep down that we are worthless. It usually begins in childhood, when we are criticised by parents/caregivers, teachers or other adults (who we believe know better than we, as children, do). Normal shame is healthy. We begin to develop shame between …
What Is A ‘Felt Sense’?
“A felt sense is not a mental experience but a physical one. A bodily awareness of a situation or person or event. An internal aura that encompasses everything you feel and know about the given subject at a given time—encompasses it and communicates it to you all at once rather than detail by detail. Think …
‘Unlearning’ Learned Helplessness
Learned Helplessness is a phenomenon that occurs when a series of negative outcomes or stressors causes someone to believe that the outcomes of life are out of one’s control. While learned helplessness can affect anyone, it often takes root in early childhood. However, trauma experienced in adulthood can also leave you feeling helpless. Martin Seligman …