Changing old patterns
Our autonomic nervous system, causes us to think, feel and behave in ways that are driven by unconscious patterns and generates automatic responses. The autonomic nervous system’s job is to keep us safe and alive. It is made up of 3 systems: • Sympathetic nervous system: This system activates body processes that help you …
Continue reading “Do You Have A Dysregulated Nervous System?”
I remember a few years ago, a friend persuaded me to attend a meditation class with her. I couldn’t concentrate or focus, it was boring, and I was just desperate to get down the pub after. This is just one example of how I typically lived for most of my life. If I did ever …
Self-regulation is how we cope with certain emotional behaviours and physical movements during stressful situations. Self-regulation is the skill that helps individuals stay focused and attentive during times of stress. Our ability to self-regulate as an adult has roots in our childhoods. Learning how to self-regulate is an important skill that children learn both for …
Continue reading “What is self-regulation, and why is it important?”
I was a codependent for most of my life. Desperate to be loved, I jumped from one long-term relationship to another, from a very young age, most of them being abusive. I was desperate for friends, so clingy and needy, I either put up with bullying and toxicity even in adult friendships, or drove any …
We all have trauma. Trauma doesn’t have to involve a huge event, but can arise from subtle neglect, or not receiving enough love or attention during childhood. As children, if we sense something is wrong, or we don’t receive the love we need, we don’t ever look at our caregivers and assess that there may …
Imagine this. You are waiting outside the shopping centre for a friend or family member to pick you up, but they don’t arrive. Minutes turn into an hour, and you have no mobile phone. How would you be feeling? Slightly anxious? Worried about your friend/relative? Wondering whether to leave and find another way home, …
If our emotional and physical needs are met as children, we grow up believing that we have a right to be here and that we are capable, lovable and able to take care of ourselves. But often, getting these needs met depends on how well the needs of the family have been met. For example, …
In the ancient past, it was useful for our ancestors to respond quickly to danger, or predators and escape with a quick action (a trauma response). The 5 main trauma responses are: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Friend (Fawn), Flop When confronted with a threat, an animal’s brain automatically switches to ‘survival’ mode. The trauma response depends …
Continue reading “The 5 main trauma responses and how they affect our day-to-day life”
A lot of us are walking around carrying toxic shame, without even knowing it, or realising just how big an impact it is having on how we function day to day. You may withdraw, become angry without understanding why. You may become a perfectionist, in order to avoid more criticism or shame. Either from others …
Trauma bonds are emotional bonds with an individual that arise from a recurring, cyclical pattern of abuse perpetuated by intermittent reinforcement through rewards and punishments. The process of forming trauma bonds is referred to as trauma bonding or traumatic bonding. Trauma bonding occurs when an abuser repeats a cycle of abuse with a victim which …