Changing old patterns
When I support clients in therapy, one of the most powerful approaches I use is inner child work. Many people who come to me with struggles around trauma, addiction, or codependency often feel stuck in old patterns that no longer serve them. To help untangle these patterns, I draw on Transactional Analysis (TA), a therapeutic …
When we experience attachment trauma in childhood, it shapes the way we see ourselves, others, and the world. We develop negative core beliefs that become the lens through which we view everything. How Negative Core Beliefs Form If you grew up being told you were “too sensitive,” you may have learned to suppress your feelings. …
Growing up, I had very few safe people in my life. Even the ones who weren’t physically abusive often left me on edge — I never knew what mood they’d be in, or how they’d respond to me. Because of that, I learned to cling to friendships without asking myself if the other person was …
When we arrive in the world, we are pure potential — curious, open, and ready to connect. Psychologists sometimes call this the blank slate (or tabula rasa). We have no beliefs, no set personality, and no pre-written story. Then life begins to write on that slate. The family we’re born into, the culture that surrounds …
Continue reading “We’re Born a Blank Slate – How Life Shapes Who We Become”
When I first began my own recovery from childhood trauma, one truth hit me harder than anything else — if I wanted to heal, I had to develop self-awareness. But becoming aware is not the soft, floaty thing Instagram quotes make it out to be. Awareness meant looking at some very uncomfortable truths about myself: …
When navigating the complexities of relationships—especially those touched by trauma, addiction, or emotional neglect—it can be hard to tell the difference between limerence and codependency. Both can feel intense, all-consuming, and deeply emotional, but they stem from very different roots. In this blog, we’ll explore the difference between limerence and codependency, how they show up …
Have you ever felt, deep down, that something is wrong with you—even if you can’t quite explain why? Maybe you blame yourself for things that weren’t your fault. Maybe you struggle to accept love or believe you deserve good things. Maybe no matter how hard you try, that nagging sense of “I’m bad” won’t go …
When life feels chaotic, overwhelming, or emotionally intense, we often hear the advice to “stay grounded.” But what does that really mean—and why is it so important, especially for people healing from trauma, addiction, or codependent relationships? In this blog, we’ll explore the meaning of being grounded, why it matters for emotional wellbeing, and how …
Why relationships matter in healing from addiction When we think about addiction, it’s often framed as an individual struggle — a battle of willpower or a personal failing. But the reality is far more complex. Addiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It’s deeply shaped by our nervous systems, our past experiences, and most importantly, our …
Continue reading “The Powerful Connection Between Addiction and Co-Regulation”
Shame is a powerful, painful emotion. It’s not the same as guilt. Guilt says, “I did something wrong.” Shame says, “I am something wrong.” For many people affected by trauma, addiction, or codependency, shame becomes a deep-rooted belief that silently drives harmful patterns—what we call the shame cycle. In this blog, we’ll explore what the …
Continue reading “Breaking the Shame Cycle: How to Recognise It and Begin to Heal”