Changing old patterns
WHAT IS THE MOTHER WOUND? The bond between a mother and her child is so strong that British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott believed that there’s no such thing as an infant, but only an infant and their mother. He believed that a child’s sense of self is built by the kind of a relationship that they have with …
Self-regulation is how we cope with certain emotional behaviours and physical movements during stressful situations. Self-regulation is the skill that helps individuals stay focused and attentive during times of stress. Our ability to self-regulate as an adult has roots in our childhoods. Learning how to self-regulate is an important skill that children learn both for …
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I was a codependent for most of my life. Desperate to be loved, I jumped from one long-term relationship to another, from a very young age, most of them being abusive. I was desperate for friends, so clingy and needy, I either put up with bullying and toxicity even in adult friendships, or drove any …
We all have trauma. Trauma doesn’t have to involve a huge event, but can arise from subtle neglect, or not receiving enough love or attention during childhood. As children, if we sense something is wrong, or we don’t receive the love we need, we don’t ever look at our caregivers and assess that there may …
When I first learnt about the ‘Wounded Healer’ theory, it made complete sense to me. Having been through a mental breakdown myself, and hitting rock bottom, I remembered coming through the other side and just having complete compassion and empathy for everyone, and wanting to go help as many people as I could. The wounded …
EFT tapping involves using our fingers to tap on specific meridian points on the face and body. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is effective because unhealed emotions can get trapped in our body. ‘ The physical body stores the trapped emotions when wounding occurs’ (The Body Keeps the Score by Dr Bessel Van der Kolk) Many …
Imagine this. You are waiting outside the shopping centre for a friend or family member to pick you up, but they don’t arrive. Minutes turn into an hour, and you have no mobile phone. How would you be feeling? Slightly anxious? Worried about your friend/relative? Wondering whether to leave and find another way home, …
Do you understand the difference between emotional intelligence and emotional maturity? In a nutshell, emotional intelligence refers to the understanding of emotions, while emotional maturity is the act of applying that knowledge. Emotionally intelligent people understand how to handle tough situations without unnecessarily escalating them. Emotional maturity focuses on our emotional history, beginning with …
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A Johari window, created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955, is a psychological tool used for self-awareness, personal development, improving communications and interpersonal relationships. The model provides a simple visual reference for examining your personality, and for improving understanding between individuals. The Open Area represents the things that you know about yourself and that others know …
On Friday afternoon, I was taking a shift for a mental health charity I regularly volunteer for. Many of the service users are children who are suffering abuse at the hands of adults, and Friday was no exception. When I had finished the shift, I had a phone call from the PE teacher at the …