Changing old patterns
When it comes to discussing chronic illness, disability, or mental health, finding the right words can be a challenge. One metaphor that has resonated deeply with many people navigating these experiences is Spoon Theory. Originally created to describe the challenges of living with chronic illness, Spoon Theory has since become a powerful framework for understanding …
Continue reading “Understanding Spoon Theory: A Powerful Metaphor for Mental Health”
Addiction is a complex, multifaceted issue that impacts millions of individuals and families worldwide. While genetics, environment, trauma, and peer influence all play a role, one often under-discussed yet critical factor is parenting. The way a child is raised—the emotional tone of the household, the boundaries set (or not set), the way love is …
Continue reading “How Bad Parenting Can Contribute to Addiction: A Hard Look at Root Causes”
In classrooms, homes, and countless parenting books throughout history, fear has often been used as a tool to shape behaviour. Threats, punishments, raised voices, and harsh consequences are tactics many adults have relied on—often with the best intentions—to “teach a lesson.” But modern neuroscience and child psychology have made one truth increasingly clear: fear …
Not all toxic people come across as cruel or uncaring. Some genuinely love us and may even mean well. But that doesn’t mean their presence in our lives is healthy. Sometimes, it’s not about malice—it’s about misalignment. The way they live, what they ask of us, or what they take from us can force us …
According to most psychological estimates, around 90-95% of our mental activity is considered subconscious, meaning only a small percentage (5-10%) is consciously accessible. Most of our daily decisions, habits, feelings, emotions and behaviours are driven by our subconscious mind. The subconscious stores a vast amount of information, including memories, beliefs, and learned patterns. Which is …
Continue reading “How Is Your Attachment Style Affecting Your Relationship?”
From the perspectives of psychologists like Jung and Freud, our choice of a life partner is significantly influenced by the formative experiences of our earliest years. As completely dependent children, our primary caregivers – and their inherent imperfections or strengths – left an indelible mark. Whether they were distant, overbearing, or even unkind, or consistently …
Continue reading “The Three Stages Of A Loving Relationship”
Are certain people more likely to develop addictions in their lifetime, including to alcohol or drugs? Is there a definitive addictive personality or a set of characteristics that all addicts share? Many people believe they have an addictive personality, but at its core, what they often struggle with is an inability to self-regulate. Self-soothing/regulating means …
If you grew up in a home with a parent who misused alcohol, drugs, or who suffered from codependency themselves, you’re probably familiar with the feeling of never knowing what to expect from one day to the next. When one or both parents struggle with addiction, the home environment is unpredictable. Arguments, inconsistency, unreliability, …
Continue reading “Adult Children Of Addicts or Codependents – The Laundry List”
Yesterday my daughter was telling me about a recent night out with friends, and as well as the fun they had, she had a moan about some of the behaviour exhibited. One friend has a new boyfriend and has dropped all of her friends for him. This was the first night in ages they had …
I used to be a people-pleaser. I didn’t trust my own judgement, so relied on others to tell me what to do. Ignoring red flags in people, trying to see the best in them. Which has got me into many dangerous situations, and stuck in a cycle of toxic friendships and abusive relationships. I …