I was talking to an old friend recently, who has been a writer, publisher and editor for over 30 years, and written speeches for some very high profile people, including a few of our ex-Prime Ministers. As well as having his own books published.
We were discussing how far he had come since our childhood, and he suddenly said ‘I am just waiting to be found out’.
I asked what he meant, and he went on to describe how despite doing this job every day, and despite his accomplishments, he felt deep down, that he was a fraud, putting on an act, and that at any point, he would be exposed.
Classic Imposter Syndrome; the internal psychological experience of feeling like a phoney in some area of your life, despite any success that you have achieved in that area. A pattern of questioning your own abilities or accomplishments and believing they aren’t good enough.
In 1978, psychologists Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance first described imposter syndrome in high-achieving professional women. More recently, experts have found that it’s common among both men and women in many lines of work.
One study found that about 70% of all people have felt like an imposter at some point. Imposter syndrome often affects those who are highly capable perfectionists. Among those reported to have felt this kind of self-doubt are scientist Albert Einstein, athlete Serena Williams, singer Jennifer Lopez, and actors Natalie Portman, Lupita Nyong’o, and Tom Hanks.
According to Dr Valerie Young (co-founder of the Imposter Syndrome Institute), imposter syndrome can be broken down into five basic types:
The Expert. The expert feels like an imposter because they don’t know everything there is to know about a particular subject or topic, or they haven’t mastered every step in a process. Because there is more for them to learn, they don’t feel as if they’ve reached the rank of “expert.”
The Natural Genius. In this imposter syndrome type, you may feel like a fraud simply because you don’t believe that you are naturally intelligent or competent. If you don’t get something right the first time around or it takes you longer to master a skill, you feel like an imposter.
The Soloist. It’s also possible to feel like an imposter if you had to ask for help to reach a certain level or status. Since you couldn’t get there on your own, you question your competence or abilities.
The Superperson. This type of imposter syndrome involves believing that you must be the hardest worker or reach the highest levels of achievement possible and, if you don’t, you are a fraud.
Signs of imposter syndrome
Whether you identify with one of the above types or not, common signs of imposter syndrome include:
Belief that you’re inadequate or a fraud
Low self-confidence
Self-doubt
Procrastination
Perfectionism
Negative self-talk
Tendency to compare yourself to others
Fear of criticism, failure, or being exposed
Worry or anxiety over living up to expectations (your own or others’)
Difficulty accepting compliments or praise
Difficulty believing you’re capable of success
Sense of self-worth that’s based on your accomplishments or other external factors
What Causes Imposter Syndrome?
Research suggests that upbringing and family dynamics can play an important role in imposter syndrome. Controlling, critical or overprotective parents may contribute to the development of imposter syndrome in children.
For example, you might have come from a family that highly valued achievement. Or you may have had parents who flipped back and forth between offering praise and being critical.
Studies also suggest that people who come from families that experienced high levels of conflict may be more likely to experience imposter syndrome.
To move past these feelings, you need to become comfortable confronting some of the deeply ingrained beliefs you hold about yourself. This exercise can be hard because you might not even realize that you hold them, but here are some techniques you can use:
- Share your feelings. Shame prevents us from owning our feelings. Knowing there’s a name for these feelings and that you are not alone can be tremendously freeing. Talk to friends, or seek therapy.
- Assess your abilities. If you have long-held beliefs about your incompetence in social and performance situations, make a realistic assessment of your abilities. Write down your accomplishments and what you are good at, then compare these with your self-assessment.
- Take baby steps. Don’t focus on doing things perfectly, but rather, do things reasonably well and reward yourself for taking action. For example, in a group conversation, offer an opinion or share a story about yourself.
- Question your thoughts. As you start to assess your abilities and take baby steps, question whether your thoughts are rational. Does it make sense to believe that you are a fraud given everything that you know?
- Stop comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy. You will always find some fault with yourself that fuels the feeling of not being as good, or of not belonging. Instead, during conversations, focus on listening to what the other person is saying. Be genuinely interested in learning more.
- Use social media moderately. `And be authentic. If you try to portray an image on social media that doesn’t match who you really are or that is impossible to achieve, it will only make your feelings of being a fraud worse.
Andrea, x