Changing old patterns
My daughter asked me recently where the term ‘bunny boiler’ comes from. I laughed, as I recalled Glenn Close’s psychotic character in ‘Fatal Attraction‘ and how, after the huge success of the film in the 80s, any female who demonstrated a glimmer of insecure behaviour was labelled a bunny boiler, relating to the scene where …
Continue reading “When Trauma And Pain Show Up As Crazy In Relationships”
I remember a few years ago, a friend persuaded me to attend a meditation class with her. I couldn’t concentrate or focus, it was boring, and I was just desperate to get down the pub after. This is just one example of how I typically lived for most of my life. If I did ever …
WHAT IS THE MOTHER WOUND? The bond between a mother and her child is so strong that British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott believed that there’s no such thing as an infant, but only an infant and their mother. He believed that a child’s sense of self is built by the kind of a relationship that they have with …
We all have trauma. Trauma doesn’t have to involve a huge event, but can arise from subtle neglect, or not receiving enough love or attention during childhood. As children, if we sense something is wrong, or we don’t receive the love we need, we don’t ever look at our caregivers and assess that there may …
EFT tapping involves using our fingers to tap on specific meridian points on the face and body. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is effective because unhealed emotions can get trapped in our body. ‘ The physical body stores the trapped emotions when wounding occurs’ (The Body Keeps the Score by Dr Bessel Van der Kolk) Many …
Imagine this. You are waiting outside the shopping centre for a friend or family member to pick you up, but they don’t arrive. Minutes turn into an hour, and you have no mobile phone. How would you be feeling? Slightly anxious? Worried about your friend/relative? Wondering whether to leave and find another way home, …
Emotional maturity is defined by the ability to manage our emotions and take full responsibility for our actions. Emotional immaturity can be the result of insecure attachments in childhood, unresolved trauma, or mental health issues. If you have problems communicating your needs, controlling your reactions, regulating your emotions, or are defensive and hyper-sensitive to criticism, …
After years of never really fitting in, always feeling as though there was something wrong with me, and entering into toxic friendships and abusive relationships, I finally found myself at rock bottom. I had no choice but to seek help, if I was going to get through. At my first therapy session, not even …
Continue reading “Are You Living In Survival Mode? (and what to do about it)”
The Window Of Tolerance is a concept originally developed by Dr Dan Siegel, MD, in his 1999 book, The Developing Mind, to describe the optimum zone of ‘arousal’ for a person to function in every day life. When we are operating within our window of tolerance, we can effectively manage and cope with our …
I have been a people-pleaser for most of my life. Not trusting my own judgement, so relying on others to tell me what to do. Ignoring red flags in people, trying to see the best in them. Which has got me into many dangerous situations, and stuck in a cycle of toxic friendships and abusive …
Continue reading “The Fawn Trauma Response – Are You A People Pleaser?”