Changing old patterns
As children, we are dependent on our caregivers. For food, love, safety, warmth and more. We learn to adapt our innate behaviour, in order to ensure our survival. One of the first ways that we adapt during times when we are hurting or lonely is to form an imagination that we are safe, and loved. …
I was talking to an old friend recently, who has been a writer, publisher and editor for over 30 years, and written speeches for some very high profile people, including a few of our ex-Prime Ministers. As well as having his own books published. We were discussing how far he had come since our childhood, …
Growing up, I could always make friends easily. I was funny, popular, a fabulous raconteur, and the life and soul of every party. At school, I had girl friends arguing over who was going to sit next to me in class. I was one of the ‘cool’ kids who all the boys wanted to date. …
Continue reading “How Your Attachment Style (and trauma) Shows Up In Friendships”
Toxic shame is literally the opposite to Self-Worth. Toxic shame is a feeling deep down that we are worthless. It usually begins in childhood, when we are criticised by parents/caregivers, teachers or other adults (who we believe know better than we, as children, do). Normal shame is healthy. We begin to develop shame between …
Learned Helplessness is a phenomenon that occurs when a series of negative outcomes or stressors causes someone to believe that the outcomes of life are out of one’s control. While learned helplessness can affect anyone, it often takes root in early childhood. However, trauma experienced in adulthood can also leave you feeling helpless. Martin Seligman …
The vagus nerve is the longest nerve in our body, running from the brain stem to part of the colon, supplying both our organs and our brain with vital information. The word “vagus” means wandering in Latin, and the vagus nerve is a wandering cranial nerve that communicates to every organ in our body, especially …
As soon as we are born, life comes at us. We all need attachment, to survive, and if your parents or caregivers didn’t meet your emotional needs fully, you were abused, abandoned, or neglected, you will feel unworthy and unlovable deep down. You will learn behaviours to cope and to keep yourself as safe as …
Our autonomic nervous system, causes us to think, feel and behave in ways that are driven by unconscious patterns and generates automatic responses. The autonomic nervous system’s job is to keep us safe and alive. It is made up of 3 systems: • Sympathetic nervous system: This system activates body processes that help you …
Continue reading “Do You Have A Dysregulated Nervous System?”
I remember a few years ago, a friend persuaded me to attend a meditation class with her. I couldn’t concentrate or focus, it was boring, and I was just desperate to get down the pub after. This is just one example of how I typically lived for most of my life. If I did ever …
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung When thinking about the shadow self, I always think back to an argument I was having with my eldest daughter a few years ago, when she was a teenager. I remember she snapped something …