You may have a mother wound if you were invalidated or made to feel that your weren’t important. If your feelings were ‘wrong’ or you were blamed for things you didn’t do. By your mother. If you weren’t allowed to ever express or explore negative emotions, this may result in chronic low self-esteem. Do you …
What creates a people-pleaser?
I used to be a people-pleaser. I didn’t trust my own judgement, so relied on others to tell me what to do. Ignoring red flags in people, trying to see the best in them. Which has got me into many dangerous situations, and stuck in a cycle of toxic friendships and abusive relationships. I …
Why A Trauma Bond Feels So Intense
The intense love you feel with a narcissist or when you are in a trauma bond, isn’t actually love. It’s infatuation. It’s addiction. And it is because you are revisiting/reenacting something you went through in childhood from your primary care giver/s. Subconsciously, we keep revisiting what we know, what is familiar. No matter how painful …
Are You Fantasy Bonded? (Loving Someone For Their Potential And Not Their Reality)
As children, we are dependent on our caregivers. For food, love, safety, warmth and more. We learn to adapt our innate behaviour, in order to ensure our survival. One of the first ways that we adapt during times when we are hurting or lonely is to form an imagination that we are safe, and loved. …
Understanding Your Triggers
For most of my life, I would fly off the handle over the slightest thing, going from 0-200 in a matter of seconds. I was always told that I was ‘born arguing’ and when I look back, I can recall so many times losing my temper whenever I perceived that someone was ‘out to get …
Are You A Wounded Healer?
When I first learnt about the ‘Wounded Healer’ theory, it made complete sense to me. Having been through a mental breakdown myself, and hitting rock bottom, I remembered coming through the other side and just having complete compassion and empathy for everyone, and wanting to go help as many people as I could. The wounded …