Changing old patterns
If you grew up in a home with a parent who misused alcohol, drugs, or who suffered from codependency themselves, you’re probably familiar with the feeling of never knowing what to expect from one day to the next. When one or both parents struggle with addiction, the home environment is unpredictable. Arguments, inconsistency, unreliability, …
Continue reading “Adult Children Of Addicts or Codependents – The Laundry List”
I used to be a people-pleaser. I didn’t trust my own judgement, so relied on others to tell me what to do. Ignoring red flags in people, trying to see the best in them. Which has got me into many dangerous situations, and stuck in a cycle of toxic friendships and abusive relationships. I …
Toxic shame is literally the opposite to Self-Worth. Toxic shame is a feeling deep down that we are worthless. It usually begins in childhood, when we are criticised by parents/caregivers, teachers or other adults (who we believe know better than we, as children, do). Normal shame is healthy. We begin to develop shame between …
Learned Helplessness is a phenomenon that occurs when a series of negative outcomes or stressors causes someone to believe that the outcomes of life are out of one’s control. While learned helplessness can affect anyone, it often takes root in early childhood. However, trauma experienced in adulthood can also leave you feeling helpless. Martin Seligman …
The word ‘trauma‘ comes from the Greek word for ‘wound’. So trauma is literally a wound in our mental state. Like any physical wound. Post-Traumatic Stress means anything that leaves an emotional residue in the system and interferes with its normal function. The various facets of Post-Traumatic Stress are innumerable; however, we can categorize them …
Our autonomic nervous system, causes us to think, feel and behave in ways that are driven by unconscious patterns and generates automatic responses. The autonomic nervous system’s job is to keep us safe and alive. It is made up of 3 systems: • Sympathetic nervous system: This system activates body processes that help you …
Continue reading “Do You Have A Dysregulated Nervous System?”
I remember a few years ago, a friend persuaded me to attend a meditation class with her. I couldn’t concentrate or focus, it was boring, and I was just desperate to get down the pub after. This is just one example of how I typically lived for most of my life. If I did ever …
EFT tapping involves using our fingers to tap on specific meridian points on the face and body. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is effective because unhealed emotions can get trapped in our body. ‘ The physical body stores the trapped emotions when wounding occurs’ (The Body Keeps the Score by Dr Bessel Van der Kolk) Many …
After years of never really fitting in, always feeling as though there was something wrong with me, and entering into toxic friendships and abusive relationships, I finally found myself at rock bottom. I had no choice but to seek help, if I was going to get through. At my first therapy session, not even …
Continue reading “Are You Living In Survival Mode? (and what to do about it)”
If our emotional and physical needs are met as children, we grow up believing that we have a right to be here and that we are capable, lovable and able to take care of ourselves. But often, getting these needs met depends on how well the needs of the family have been met. For example, …