Changing old patterns
According to most psychological estimates, around 90-95% of our mental activity is considered subconscious, meaning only a small percentage (5-10%) is consciously accessible. Most of our daily decisions, habits, feelings, emotions and behaviours are driven by our subconscious mind. The subconscious stores a vast amount of information, including memories, beliefs, and learned patterns. Which is …
Continue reading “How Is Your Attachment Style Affecting Your Relationship?”
From the perspectives of psychologists like Jung and Freud, our choice of a life partner is significantly influenced by the formative experiences of our earliest years. As completely dependent children, our primary caregivers – and their inherent imperfections or strengths – left an indelible mark. Whether they were distant, overbearing, or even unkind, or consistently …
Continue reading “The Three Stages Of A Loving Relationship”
Are certain people more likely to develop addictions in their lifetime, including to alcohol or drugs? Is there a definitive addictive personality or a set of characteristics that all addicts share? Many people believe they have an addictive personality, but at its core, what they often struggle with is an inability to self-regulate. Self-soothing/regulating means …
If you grew up in a home with a parent who misused alcohol, drugs, or who suffered from codependency themselves, you’re probably familiar with the feeling of never knowing what to expect from one day to the next. When one or both parents struggle with addiction, the home environment is unpredictable. Arguments, inconsistency, unreliability, …
Continue reading “Adult Children Of Addicts or Codependents – The Laundry List”
Typically when we think of addiction, we think of alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling. Although not yet an official diagnosis, a more common, yet far less known form of addiction is an addiction to people. Research from 2016 suggested feelings of intense romantic love activate regions of the brain’s “reward system” — the same regions …
The intense love you feel with a narcissist or when you are in a trauma bond, isn’t actually love. It’s infatuation. It’s addiction. And it is because you are revisiting/reenacting something you went through in childhood from your primary care giver/s. Subconsciously, we keep revisiting what we know, what is familiar. No matter how painful …
How do you cope with whatever life throws at you? Coping is the ability to deal with difficult situations. Coping skills are the skills that we use to achieve this. It is, therefore, possible to describe a wide range of skills and activities as ‘coping skills’. It is also clear that some coping skills may …
Abandonment trauma can stem from being left alone or neglected as a child either physically or emotionally. It can relate to the death of a parent, having your parents divorce, the loss of a partner or close friend, or finding out a partner has been unfaithful. Whether you experienced painful abandonment during your childhood or …
An emotionally unavailable person is typically seen as someone who has a fear or block to sharing their emotions, and feelings. They delay making plans, don’t really want a label to the relationship, can’t commit, are inconsistent, they lead you on, or worse. They can be emotionally abusing you (gaslighting, stonewalling, lying). They likely …
Continue reading “Do You Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners?”
As children, we are dependent on our caregivers. For food, love, safety, warmth and more. We learn to adapt our innate behaviour, in order to ensure our survival. One of the first ways that we adapt during times when we are hurting or lonely is to form an imagination that we are safe, and loved. …