Changing old patterns
How do you cope with whatever life throws at you? Coping is the ability to deal with difficult situations. Coping skills are the skills that we use to achieve this. It is, therefore, possible to describe a wide range of skills and activities as ‘coping skills’. It is also clear that some coping skills may …
Abandonment trauma can stem from being left alone or neglected as a child either physically or emotionally. It can relate to the death of a parent, having your parents divorce, the loss of a partner or close friend, or finding out a partner has been unfaithful. Whether you experienced painful abandonment during your childhood or …
An emotionally unavailable person is typically seen as someone who has a fear or block to sharing their emotions, and feelings. They delay making plans, don’t really want a label to the relationship, can’t commit, are inconsistent, they lead you on, or worse. They can be emotionally abusing you (gaslighting, stonewalling, lying). They likely …
Continue reading “Do You Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners?”
As children, we are dependent on our caregivers. For food, love, safety, warmth and more. We learn to adapt our innate behaviour, in order to ensure our survival. One of the first ways that we adapt during times when we are hurting or lonely is to form an imagination that we are safe, and loved. …
I was talking to an old friend recently, who has been a writer, publisher and editor for over 30 years, and written speeches for some very high profile people, including a few of our ex-Prime Ministers. As well as having his own books published. We were discussing how far he had come since our childhood, …
“A felt sense is not a mental experience but a physical one. A bodily awareness of a situation or person or event. An internal aura that encompasses everything you feel and know about the given subject at a given time—encompasses it and communicates it to you all at once rather than detail by detail. Think …
Learned Helplessness is a phenomenon that occurs when a series of negative outcomes or stressors causes someone to believe that the outcomes of life are out of one’s control. While learned helplessness can affect anyone, it often takes root in early childhood. However, trauma experienced in adulthood can also leave you feeling helpless. Martin Seligman …
The vagus nerve is the longest nerve in our body, running from the brain stem to part of the colon, supplying both our organs and our brain with vital information. The word “vagus” means wandering in Latin, and the vagus nerve is a wandering cranial nerve that communicates to every organ in our body, especially …
My daughter asked me recently where the term ‘bunny boiler’ comes from. I laughed, as I recalled Glenn Close’s psychotic character in ‘Fatal Attraction‘ and how, after the huge success of the film in the 80s, any female who demonstrated a glimmer of insecure behaviour was labelled a bunny boiler, relating to the scene where …
Continue reading “When Trauma And Pain Show Up As Crazy In Relationships”
As soon as we are born, life comes at us. We all need attachment, to survive, and if your parents or caregivers didn’t meet your emotional needs fully, you were abused, abandoned, or neglected, you will feel unworthy and unlovable deep down. You will learn behaviours to cope and to keep yourself as safe as …