Changing old patterns
From the perspectives of psychologists like Jung and Freud, our choice of a life partner is significantly influenced by the formative experiences of our earliest years. As completely dependent children, our primary caregivers – and their inherent imperfections or strengths – left an indelible mark. Whether they were distant, overbearing, or even unkind, or consistently …
Continue reading “The Three Stages Of A Loving Relationship”
Are certain people more likely to develop addictions in their lifetime, including to alcohol or drugs? Is there a definitive addictive personality or a set of characteristics that all addicts share? Many people believe they have an addictive personality, but at its core, what they often struggle with is an inability to self-regulate. Self-soothing/regulating means …
If you grew up in a home with a parent who misused alcohol, drugs, or who suffered from codependency themselves, you’re probably familiar with the feeling of never knowing what to expect from one day to the next. When one or both parents struggle with addiction, the home environment is unpredictable. Arguments, inconsistency, unreliability, …
Continue reading “Adult Children Of Addicts or Codependents – The Laundry List”
Typically when we think of addiction, we think of alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling. Although not yet an official diagnosis, a more common, yet far less known form of addiction is an addiction to people. Research from 2016 suggested feelings of intense romantic love activate regions of the brain’s “reward system” — the same regions …
Yesterday my daughter was telling me about a recent night out with friends, and as well as the fun they had, she had a moan about some of the behaviour exhibited. One friend has a new boyfriend and has dropped all of her friends for him. This was the first night in ages they had …
You may have a mother wound if you were invalidated or made to feel that your weren’t important. If your feelings were ‘wrong’ or you were blamed for things you didn’t do. By your mother. If you weren’t allowed to ever express or explore negative emotions, this may result in chronic low self-esteem. Do you …
I used to be a people-pleaser. I didn’t trust my own judgement, so relied on others to tell me what to do. Ignoring red flags in people, trying to see the best in them. Which has got me into many dangerous situations, and stuck in a cycle of toxic friendships and abusive relationships. I …
The intense love you feel with a narcissist or when you are in a trauma bond, isn’t actually love. It’s infatuation. It’s addiction. And it is because you are revisiting/reenacting something you went through in childhood from your primary care giver/s. Subconsciously, we keep revisiting what we know, what is familiar. No matter how painful …
How do you cope with whatever life throws at you? Coping is the ability to deal with difficult situations. Coping skills are the skills that we use to achieve this. It is, therefore, possible to describe a wide range of skills and activities as ‘coping skills’. It is also clear that some coping skills may …
Trauma and anxiety are closely linked. After experiencing a traumatic event, it’s natural to go through a range of negative emotions, including anger, fear, guilt, sadness, and confusion. Anxiety is also a common symptom of trauma, due to its role in our stress responses, also known as fight, flight, freeze, flop or fawn. Anxiety isn’t …