A common question I get asked is:<\/p>\n
“Do you offer couples therapy?”<\/em><\/p>\n The answer is no.<\/p>\n Not because I don’t believe couples therapy can be helpful\u2014it absolutely can. When both people are committed to taking responsibility, communicating openly, and working towards change, it can transform a relationship.<\/p>\n But over the years, I’ve noticed something.<\/p>\n Many of the people who ask about couples therapy aren’t actually looking for help with communication. They’re exhausted from carrying the relationship. They’re walking on eggshells. They’re constantly trying to keep the peace, make their partner happy, or fix problems that were never theirs to solve.<\/p>\n Often, what they really need isn’t couples therapy.<\/p>\n They need to come back to themselves.<\/p>\n Every relationship is influenced by the experiences we had long before we met our partner.<\/p>\n If you grew up believing you had to earn love, avoid conflict, put everyone else’s needs first, or keep people happy to feel safe, those patterns don’t simply disappear when you enter a relationship.<\/p>\n Instead, they often show up as:<\/p>\n These aren’t character flaws. They’re often survival strategies that once protected you.<\/p>\n The problem is that they can keep you stuck in relationships that leave you feeling anxious, unseen and emotionally drained.<\/p>\n One of the hardest lessons to learn is that you cannot heal someone else’s wounds.<\/p>\n You cannot love someone into changing.<\/p>\n You cannot communicate perfectly enough to make someone treat you with kindness.<\/p>\n And you cannot carry a relationship on your own.<\/p>\n Many people spend years trying to become “better” in the hope their partner will finally change. They become quieter, more understanding, more forgiving, more patient.<\/p>\n Yet nothing changes.<\/p>\n Not because they’re failing\u2014but because healthy relationships require effort from both people.<\/p>\n Individual therapy gives you the opportunity to understand yourself before trying to repair the relationship.<\/p>\n It helps you to:<\/p>\n Interestingly, when one person begins to change, the relationship often changes too.<\/p>\n Sometimes it becomes healthier.<\/p>\n Sometimes it becomes clear that it never could.<\/p>\n Either way, you gain clarity instead of staying stuck.<\/p>\n If your relationship involves emotional abuse, coercive control, intimidation or physical violence, couples therapy is often not<\/strong> the appropriate starting point.<\/p>\n In abusive relationships, the problem isn’t poor communication\u2014it’s an imbalance of power and control.<\/p>\n Your safety always comes first, and individual support is usually the safest place to begin.<\/p>\n Before booking couples therapy, it may be worth asking yourself:<\/p>\n These aren’t easy questions.<\/p>\n But they can be life-changing ones.<\/p>\n I don’t offer couples therapy because my work focuses on helping individuals understand themselves, heal from past wounds, rebuild their self-worth, and create healthier relationship patterns.<\/p>\n When you begin changing the relationship you have with yourself, everything else starts to shift.<\/p>\n Sometimes that strengthens a relationship.<\/p>\n Sometimes it gives you the courage to leave one that has been hurting you.<\/p>\n Either outcome begins with the same decision:<\/p>\n To stop trying to fix everyone else\u2014and start coming home to yourself.<\/p>\n If you’ve lost yourself in a relationship and you’re ready to reconnect with who you are, I’d love to support you on that journey.<\/strong><\/p>\n Andrea, x<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A common question I get asked is: “Do you offer couples therapy?” The answer is no. Not because I don’t believe couples therapy can be helpful\u2014it absolutely can. When both people are committed to taking responsibility, communicating openly, and working towards change, it can transform a relationship. But over the years, I’ve noticed something. Many … <\/p>\nThe Patterns We Bring Into Relationships<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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You Can’t Do Someone Else’s Healing<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Sometimes Individual Therapy Comes First<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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A Gentle Word About Abuse<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Questions to Ask Yourself<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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My Approach<\/strong><\/h2>\n