{"id":640,"date":"2026-03-12T18:18:01","date_gmt":"2026-03-12T18:18:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thehealingnest.co.uk\/blog\/?p=640"},"modified":"2026-03-12T18:18:01","modified_gmt":"2026-03-12T18:18:01","slug":"smacking-children-why-fear-doesnt-teach-what-love-can","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thehealingnest.co.uk\/blog\/smacking-children-why-fear-doesnt-teach-what-love-can\/","title":{"rendered":"Smacking Children: Why Fear Doesn\u2019t Teach What Love Can"},"content":{"rendered":"

Understanding childhood trauma, behaviour, and why connection works better than punishment<\/em><\/p>\n

For many years, smacking children was widely accepted as normal discipline. Many adults still say the same phrase:<\/p>\n

\u201cI was smacked and it never did me any harm.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I used to say that too.<\/p>\n

But when I began doing my own healing work later in life, I started to question that belief.<\/p>\n

Because when I looked honestly at my childhood and adulthood, I realised something uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t grow up motivated by love.<\/p>\n

I grew up motivated by fear of the repercussions<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

And that fear followed me into adulthood in ways I didn\u2019t recognise at the time.<\/p>\n

\n

My Own Realisation: When \u201cIt Did Me No Harm\u201d Wasn\u2019t True<\/strong><\/h1>\n

Growing up, punishment was normal. Fear was normal.<\/p>\n

I remember when corporal punishment was removed from schools. The cane had been a standard disciplinary tool for decades.<\/p>\n

In England, corporal punishment in state schools was officially banned in 1987<\/strong>, and later banned in private schools in 1998<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

And I remember adults in my life disagreeing with the change.<\/p>\n

Their view was simple:<\/p>\n

\u201cNow children will have nothing to fear.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Looking back now, that sentence says a lot about how discipline used to be understood.<\/p>\n

The assumption was that fear was necessary to control children.<\/p>\n

There was very little curiosity about what might actually be driving the behaviour<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

No one asked questions like:<\/p>\n